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Patty's Pity Party

by patty mellow

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1.
welcome to the pity party! 02:41
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welcome to the pity party! god it's such a shitty party is my liver workin' hard, or workin' hardly? yeah we got drugs, yeah we got booze ex girlfriends with baby blues we got bloody noses and wilted roses we can get real high and watch the news soft ash falling on my leather shoes sick of playing pick and choose w you what's a guy to do? welcome to the pity party! god it's such a shitty party pretentious boys who think they're so artsy yeah we got music and if you wanna do some dumb shit just fuckin' do it i think i'm gonna dig a hole in the ground and pull myself through it tie my veins in knots and undo it swore to god i wouldn't cry, but screw it vulnerability in the public eye sure makes me want to die can't let anyone know about my insides i wanna bury myself alive maybe i will some time the pity party is over and i'm dreading being sober wish i could lie down in a bed of clover and never, ever get up never get up again never get up again
2.
tangible 01:30
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sometimes i feel like i'm falling into everything and nothing all at once i just can't seem to land in-between i can't leave the house today, i got stuck in a dream and i don't know how to live like this i can't count all the people i miss i wanna go to the hospital i wanna run into a field i wanna call up the devil and make a god-damned deal give me something tangible and real give me something tangible and real give me something tangible and real
3.
give my heart away 01:54
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think i'm gonna fall in love with you and it's gonna suck i can feel my ears burnin' aw babe, you made me blush it's hard to just give my heart away but i think i'd like to let you have it someday i'm gonna fall in love with you and it's gonna suck i can feel my ears burnin' aw babe, you made me blush it's hard to just give my heart away but i think i'd like to let you have it someday think i'd like to let you have it one day
4.
third shift 01:22
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whirlpool all going down the drain sounds funny when you say it sounds funny when you say my name everything is just a movie everything you're doing to me who am i to you? it's confusing i can over-analyze a speck of dust on the ground i don't know who i am but i love it when you come around whirlpool all going down the drain sounds funny when you say it sounds funny when you say my name
5.
walk to ur car 02:38
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if i had a nickel for every time someone called my life a movie i'd throw it all in a wishing well and wait for the credits to move me sad song playin sadly so touching, i want to fade out so badly just hope i don't leave a bad taste in your mouth while you walk to your car while you walk to your car walk to your car while you walk to your car while you walk to your car walk to your car while you walk to your car i'm still the boy listening to radiohead on the golf cart and i am still the boy who sees the big picture and wants a small part i'm still the boy drying my eyes in your passenger seat hoping to god that our gazes do not meet if i could wish for anything it would be a semblance of normalcy a nice house with a white picket fence my daughter would be in a sorority and i would toss the ball around for my son i'[d stop thinking about buying that gun i think i'd settle for being no one sad song playin sadly it's so touching, i wanna fade out so badly just hope i don't leave a bad taste in your mouth while you walk to your car while you walk to your car walk to your car while you walk to your car while you walk to your car walk to your car while you walk to your car
6.
indecisive 01:50
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what do i want do i want love? do i want sex ignorance or knowledge of what comes next i want peace inside a riot i want to breathe it, live it die it i want to fly a plane suicide pilot can't look myself in the eye at this point i don't even try think i'll lay down right here and i'll die what do i want do i want love? do i want sex ignorance or knowledge of what comes next
7.
lonesome town 01:56
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8.
pull down the moon 03:01
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heaven ain't no joke w/ my hand around your throat nd there's nothin funny about you callin me honey and i wish i could do everything for you i'd build a ladder from my poor decisions and pull down the moon i couldn't tell you if it's written in the stars but it's in my eyes in the car i couldn't tell you i don't love who you are heaven ain't no joke w/ my hand around your throat nd there's nothin funny about you callin me honey and i wish i could do everything for you build a ladder from my poor decisions and pull down the moon pull down the moon pull down the moon pull down the moon pull down the moon pull down the moon pull down the moon pull down the moon pull down the moon pull down the moon hang it up in my room just for you
9.
hers & his 01:47
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wish i could carve into my breast bone to make myself at home i think maybe i could atone if i had just one more rib just how many nights do i have to give? to whoever wants me to feel like this? my brain's cut bilateral, hers & his my spit spews diagonal when we kiss
10.
143 01:15
lyrics
got some gunk on all my credit cards got dried glue on my brain and pulling you off of it is such an awful pain i'm covered in residue of apologies long past due but no amount of sorry could make me feel the same if you loved me so much, how come u bled my nose? if you trust me so much, why'd u pack up all my clothes? if you loved me so much, how come u bled my nose? if you trust me so much, why'd u pack up all my clothes? if you loved me so much, how come u bled my nose? if you trust me so much, why'd u pack up all my clothes? one more time ! if you loved me so much, how come u bled my nose? if you trust me so much, why'd u pack up all my clothes?

about

back in april i decided i wanted to write a whole album where i just wallow in self pity and this. took a very, very long time to release because i got kind of super tired of writing about feeling sorry for myself. this was very cathartic for me in a lot of ways and i dunno when i'll do music again but when i do it's gonna be even better! never worked so hard on something before (-: hope u like it. hope u love it. thank u for listening and stay safe!! <3

credits

released May 14, 2020

ricky nelson for writing lonesome town, post-it notes for saving the awful album art i spent an embarrassing amount of time on, and my partner for just. existing. in the same space as me. pretty neat

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patty mellow Dayton, Ohio

i write things and some of them are okay and some of them aren't but most of them are here

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