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Where Am I

by patty mellow

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    you really don't have to buy this but if u do the $$ will probably end up going towards paying for my testosterone/doctor visits SO feel free to pay as little or as much as you'd like!
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1.
plastic man pt. 1 (free) 02:06
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why isn't there anyone on t.v. like me? maybe if i were on t.v. it'd be easier to be me where did all the real people go? were they ever here? do you know? plastic man where i belong plastic man in this song plastic man where i belong plastic man in this song
2.
howdy (free) 00:44
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i look like i haven't showered in a couple days you look like your daddy went away i love you anyway i love you all the way you could make me laugh until i cry you make me feel like a sensitive guy i love you anyway i love you won't you stay
3.
sunset in my brain (free) 03:34
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there's gonna be a sunset in my brain and you are invited tonight now i'm trying to say everything i can without saying too much without saying enough cuz it was here and now it's gone and i've already written too many songs about somethin that don't exist except in my head except in my head except in my head except in my head but there's a sunset in my brain tonight and i think you might come and that'd be nice there's a sunset in my brain tonight and i think you might come and that'd be nice
4.
this is it isn't it (free) 02:32
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i close my eyes and i am in my mom's car on the way to illinois i am reading in the backseat i still think that i like boys and i guess i still like boys but a lot of boys are gross but if a cute boy with a big nose were to come and say hello i would probably say it back when i was young i didn't know who i was or who i wanted to be with and now i'm old and my floor is covered in dirty clothes and i still don't know who i am or who i want to be with i feel like i'm gonna spend forever sitting here blowing my nose into generic off-brand kleenex confused about my sexuality is this it this is it isn't it this is it isn't it this is it isn't it this is it
5.
word vomit (free) 02:19
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i watched myself feel lonely on your back porch and i watched myself feel lonely on the bus and i watched myself as my tongue turned to rust and i would watch myself spontaneously combust cuz people don't wanna hear about the way i think so that's why my thoughts are stuck in my head yeah that's why i puked in the sink yeah that's what happened i think and if i could watch myself say all the things i'd like to maybe i'd feel a little bit like someone else but that's not how i grew up that's not how i grew up i didn't ask to be so quiet i hope you understand i didn't ask to be so quiet didn't ask to be so quiet i watched myself i watched myself i watched myself feel lonely
6.
plastic man pt. 2 (free) 02:13
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i got a man made out of plastic isn't that fantastic isn't it something or is it nothing or am i anything or am i thinking too hard i never thought a playing card could make me so emotional and yes i am devotional i am devoted to you and everything you do except the things that hurt and the things that hurt me worse for everything there is a first and a second and a third but are you real cuz i'm not sure i'm not sure if you ever were and i read that verse but i didn't see you and sometimes i wish that i could be you
7.
the memory book (free) 03:24
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chalk on the sidewalk take it easy bags in the hallway take it easy you know what they all say take it easy boy in the bathroom take it easy why did you do that why'd ya do that to me you were so mean do you remember me? dust on the window take it easy puddle on the ground take it easy boy with a crown take it easy why did you hurt me i remember i'm still hurting i see you sometimes when i don't expect it i see you sometimes when i don't expect it
8.
true love will find you in the end (free) 01:25
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9.
it's so strange (free) 02:07
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i was trying to sleep but then the world started caving in on me folding and buckling now it's the size of a pea it's so strange to think i exist here with everything what's gonna happen to me what's gonna happen i can't breathe what's gonna happen when the movie is over what's gonna happen to me what's gonna happen can you see what's gonna happen to me
10.
you exist! (free) 02:05
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you're gonna fuckin hate me but i swear it gets better and then it'll probably get kinda bad again and i'm not here to sit with you and make pretend that everything will be peachy fucking keen for the rest of your life cuz that's not the way it goes life it tends to ebb then it flows but i need you to know you're gonna be alright i know this is corny but i wanna give you some peace of mind so go out and write your name on everything you touch like the world is one big picnic table you'd sit at for lunch so that way you can't forget that you are real and you exist so when you get lost remember all of this cuz i love you and i want you to exist

about

i wrote and recorded this over the span of a couple months, this is my first project where i have put my whole heart and soul into it and i don't sound exactly how i want to sound yet but i'm getting closer! so here it is! listen to me talk about god and having my heart broke and how gay i am while i really clumsily play guitar.

i'm gonna update this a little later but here's a list of other cool artists that i personally know who u should check out:
soundcloud.com/softlyspit
ctrlcultdelete.bandcamp.com

credits

released August 3, 2017

big thanks to nora conroy for the album art, also want to thank heartbreak, t.v. dinners, and taco bell cuz a lot of these songs were written in my head while i washed dishes while i was working :-)

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about

patty mellow Dayton, Ohio

i write things and some of them are okay and some of them aren't but most of them are here

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